@amorousrocker: Pierre McGuire has such a man crush on Crosby. I swear, Sid’s balls must hurt from Pierre hanging on them so tightly all the time.
Now that the Olympics are behind us I’ve had a chance to reflect on the tournament as a whole. I thought that all-in-all it was some of the best hockey I’ve ever seen and it was also great to see my Facebook homies and my Twitter peeps step up to the plate and make this an epic smack-talking event.
The border skirmish was in full-effect as people from my side of the border squared off with the hosers from the Great White North to see who could run their gums the best. Maybe it’s just me being a proud American, but I think that my people rose to the occasion and dropped some epic lines on my friends from Canada.
With that knowledge firmly in your possession, here are some Facebook and Twitter Olympic highlights:
A lot of the good stuff started during the Canada v Switzerland game—a game in which I dubbed the Swiss “The Chocolate Makers.” It wasn’t an insult by any means and in fact I was pretty impressed with the way the Swiss played during the Olympics, especially considering they had only two NHL players on their roster. This status update in particular seemed to draw a lot of responses:
JR Reed How rad would it be for the US to smack around Norway and Canada to lose to the chocolate makers in the same day? I say, “TOTALLY RAD, EH!”
Jenniffer M-Antoinette Short’ Shut it.
JR Reed suddenly I have a craving for Toblerone…
Megan Munro I agree with Jenn
JR Reed you mean you agree that I should shut it? Should I shut it like Jonas Hiller is shutting down the Canadians? If so, OK…
N.A. As Craig Ferguson, the good Brit that he is, always said…. Canada is like our retarded cousin to the North.., I do like Swiss Cheese though…
The first USA v Canada game (the one where we beat Canada) was where a lot of the good stuff happened. I started off with this line on Facebook thirty minutes before the game, then it just sort of went downhill from there:
JR Reed Call Ryan Miller ‘The Dealer” because he’s gonna make sure that Cindy Crosby and his Team Canada playmates spend Sunday night getting stoned! USA BABY!
After playing a horrible first period, I hopped back onto Facebook and laid down some junk for Team Canada:
JR Reed How’s this for irony: Right now I’m sucking down a cold (Molson) Canadian and right now Team Canada is just sucking…
Michael Silver More Ironic while bashing Canada your drinking a beer that is a proud supporter of Canadian Hockey, and team Canada!
JR Reed Yeah, but I can buy a 30 pack of Canadian here for the same price I can buy 12 in Ontario. Go USA!!!
A few minutes later:
JR Reed Canada, you bent me over for 9 months. Paybacks gonna be a bitch!!!!
John Spice hey dude only 2 canadians did that to you not all of us r bad
Michael Silver You must enjoy getting bent over by Canadians, cuz you know deep down inside that it’s going to happen again tonight
Charles Smith Mr Reed, take it easy on your crack-smokin’ Canadien friend . . . . Go USA ! !
One particular status update I made just before the Russia v Canada game drew a lot of comments. One comment in particular is from a guy named Billy Myers. Billy is a wuss and dropped his filthy, curse filled message on me then promptly un-friended me and blocked me. What a wimp. If he’s going to say things like this, why not be a man and stick around to defend what you said? What did I say that incensed him so? Here you go:
JR Reed My message to Alex Ovechkin? PLEASE lay out Cindy Crosby the way you laid out that other chick, Jaromir Jagr!!!
Billy Myers my message to classless fucks who refer to Crosby as Cindy, Fuck you douchebag. Deleted.
Joe Thistel Seeing comments like this, I haven’t wanted Canada to beat Russia so badly since 1972. Win or lose, I”m glad Crosby is on our side. And I’d take Jagr too.
JR Reed So what do you REALLY think Billy? Hello? Billy? Oh wait. he deleted me. Wow. What a huge loss…
JR Reed I think Billy Myers blocked me. I can’t even send him a message to apologize. Not that I would. But I can’t.
Sunday was the Gold Medal game and it was honestly kind of quiet on Twitter and Facebook. There were a few good blasts, but I guess that people were going for quality over quantity. I started the game off with this line:
JR Reed Fat, greasy cheeseburgers, jalapeno potato chips and cold beer. That’s what Americans eat while they watch Gold Medal hockey! It’s time to go all Lake Placid on the Canadians. USA Baby. USA…
Clearly the blast of the tournament came moments after Crosby scored the OT winner:
JR Reed Give Crosby credit for scoring the OT winner while on her period. I guess it was the wings..
Petra Sunflower awwwwwwwwwwwwww poor sport eh… oopsa we did it again!
Jeff Gritchen We?
Petra Sunflower we as in we KICKED UR AMERICAN ASS WE!
Patty Davis Bercich hahahahahaha! Didn’t know who Crosby was before today, and still, I just don’t care!! hehe!! He seems so arrogant!! J.R., am I wrong?
JR Reed you are absolutely correct!!!!!
Charles Smith Crosby is NOT arrogant. Come on, now. Ya’ll are cryin’ like foreigners. Canada beat us fair and square. If anything, you should be upset over our defensemen turning over the puck on the first 2 Team Canada goals. We are Americans, now MAN UP !
JR Reed Shut up Chuckie! I don’t want anyone invading my reality!!!!! Give me a day or two to hate on Cindy…
When all was said and done I received this Twitter blast from @guns1306 @JRReedradio Got home just in time to see the goal…fuck me
Saving the best for last, I bring you a Tweet from my Twitter buddy @amorousrocker:
Pierre McGuire has such a man crush on Crosby. I swear, Sid’s balls must hurt from Pierre hanging on them so tightly all the time.
My oh my. That was entertaining!
Thanks! It was entertaining because I have a good web guy to help the site look good!
Sidney. Cindy. A Boy named Sue. 1 more goal than you…..Just Sayin’ Hell Yeah, back at ya!
“Hell yeah” to your “hell yeah”! It’s all good in the Rantin Neighborhooood–ain’t that right , son?
That picture with my quote? OMG I’m dying here. You’re hilarious.
This post had me laughing so much. Great stuff! Nothing like a little friendly rivalry and good ol’ smack talk.
It’s amazing what you come up with when you type in “Sidney Crosby PierreMcGuire” into Google Images. Your post had me rolling and still does. Thanks and please keep the blasts coming…
I’m so going to Google that now, just to see. I giggle to myself every time I think that. I can’t help it though. You know, if you have a Pens game on NBC, you can play the “Crosby” drinking game. Every time Pierre or anyone talks about Crosby or shows Crosby, you drink. You’ll be buzzing or drunk depending on your tolerance by the end of the 1st. Even better, the “Crosby vs Ov” drinking game when the Caps and Pens play. Every time they show Crosbaby or Ov, every time they talk about one or the other or every time the mention their rivalry… draaank! If you watch the pre-game, you’ll be drunk before the game starts, haha.
Also forgot to mention… love the new layout here. Looks niiiice.
I think you’re funny but you’re out of your fucking mind. Sid Crosby could retire right now and be a legend. He’s 22. It’s Team Canada, what are you gonna do? They’re good, you know?
The only things from Canada I like (in no particular order);
RUSH, Molson, Bob & Doug McKenzie and the MTV “Remote Control” gameshow category, “Dead or Canadian”.
I would absolutely put Molson and Bob & Doug at the top of the list. I would also put back bacon and certain hot puck bunnies. If you’re not sure what a hot puck bunny is, please stay tuned. A puck bunny post is just around the corner…..
Lindy Ruff! (that’s all I know about hockey)
After the Olympics I’m ashamed that you don’t at least know Ryan Miller. I mean, not know him personally, just know about him….