The Diva

This has nothing to do with the story.  I just think it’s funny, plus the douchebag’s a bit of a Diva himself.

JUSTIN BIEBER

Gay of the gays. a little Canadian buttercup who sounds like he’s constipated when he sings. Also, he doesn’t want anything to do with Meagan Watson, due to her obsessive nature over his 4-year-old ball sack.

Everyone has to have a first date after a relationship ends and The Diva was my first date post-Phone Sex Operator.  This wasn’t my first-first date with The Diva; our story actually began back in early-to-mid November…

It was a cold and blustery day.  Or maybe it wasn’t.  Who the hell remembers these things?  The weather isn’t even the point of the story—the chick is.

I was on one of the many crappy dating sites when I ran across a profile that I found interesting.  I don’t remember exactly what it was about the profile that interested me because, well, it was back in November and this is late April.

I remember that she was cute.  She probably seemed like she was cool and she returned my message to her.  Let’s be honest, at first, those are really the only three things that matter.  I mean, you’re not generally going to send someone a message unless you find him/her attractive and somewhat interesting.  Unless they reply to your initial correspondence you have zero shot at that person.  Am I right?  Damn skippy, yo!

As usual, I digress…  The Diva and I traded a few e-mails, a couple dozen texts and a phone call or two before meeting for coffee one November morning at a local Tim Horton’s.  Things went well.  We chatted about this and that.  She told me about her friend, the bi-sexual car guy, and I told her of getting boned by The Fat Man in Canada and of being dumped via an 11PM e-mail by a chick I dated in Canada.

We had a good time at Timmies and decided we would go out a couple of nights later.  The next morning she called me and mentioned that she needed to get her oil changed (in her car.  Get your minds out of the gutter) and that she was going to stop by my dealership in the afternoon to have it done.  When she came into the building, one of my co-workers instantly hit on her.  She politely declined and said she was there to see me.

As I got ready for our date the next night I was informed that Bi-Sexual Car Guy (B.C.G.) would be joining us for dinner.  I double and triple checked to make sure that she wasn’t trying to set me up with him and once I was sure that she was interested in me and that he wasn’t I said, “fine” and met them for some drinks and food.

We had a good time.  B.C.G. was cool and The Diva was having a good time as well.  After dinner we went our separate ways—I had to get home to get Drama Queen (D.Q.) ready for bed and The Diva told me she would call me later.  I gave her a kiss goodnight and drove back to the house.

About 30 minutes later I received a text from The Diva telling me that she had a great time and that B.C.G. thought I was a good guy.  Apparently, B.C.G. was there to “approve” me for her.  Apparently she didn’t realize that I figured that out hours before!

She mentioned that she would really like to come over in a bit and hang out with me.  I told her that D.Q. went to bed at 9:30 and that she would be sound asleep by 10.  She was welcome to come over, but I expected her to be alone.  No B.C.G. allowed!!!

She did come over to “hang out” that night and for some reason we fell out of touch after that.  I met P.S.O. a month or so later and the two of us had many adventures.  Shortly after finding myself single once again I received a message on the online dating site from The Diva.  She asked how I was doing and if I had ever started “the dating blog”.  I informed her that I had and that I would get her the URL later.

She gave me her new number and we traded a couple texts before deciding to get together for a drink.  We met at Applebee’s (yeah.  I know.  It’s a lame place to meet, but it was her choice) and talked for a while.  Apparently she had many adventures of her own during the five months that separated our two dates and she promised to tell me some stories of her own down the road.

We laughed at others who were in the bar and talked about various things.  Neither of us could figure out why we lost contact back in November.  She didn’t hear from me and assumed I lost interest.  I don’t know why it happened.  It just happened.

She mentioned she remembered that I had some mad kissing skills and she wondered if I still had them.  I told her that I wasn’t sure but that I’d heard no complaints the past few months.  If she was nice to me the rest of the time we were at Applebee’s I told her I may let her decide for herself.

We talked about what we’re looking for.  She isn’t looking for anything “full-time” and she mentioned she might have a “part-time position available”.    I kind of snickered as she said that and she asked what was so funny.  “You said position,” I replied.

We chatted a bit more, then headed out towards our cars.  As we approached her car I remembered she asked if I still knew how to kiss and I decided that she had been nice enough while we were hanging out and that I would show her.  I leaned in (and down), put my hand behind her head and kissed her.   She liked it and I gave her one more before climbing into my Dodge and hitting the road.

The Diva and I continue to chat and text and are talking about getting together again one of these days.  Meanwhile I have a date with someone else for a drink coming up soon and I’ll be sure to let you all know how that one goes.

As I close today I would like to do so with Urban Dictionary’s definition of one of my least favorite people.  This has nothing to do with the story.  I just think it’s funny, plus the douchebag’s a bit of a Diva himself.

JUSTIN BEIBER

Gay of the gays. a little Canadian buttercup who sounds like he’s constipated when he sings. Also, he doesn’t want anything to do with Meagan Watson, due to her obsessive nature over his 4-year-old ball sack.

J.R.