A few months ago I had an idea to do a Date Application on the site.  I kept putting it off and putting it off, as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.  Recently I met author Tucker Max and found out he had a Date Application on his site around 2001-2.  I thought it would be kind of weak to put one up when he had one.

The other day we were trading e-mails and I brought my dilemma up to him and he said, “Dude, I didn’t invent that, you don’t need my permission to do something like that.”  Cool.

J.R. Reed Date Application

Please copy & paste this into the “CONTACT J.R.” button at the top of the page or e-mail sexandthesingledad{at}me{dot}com

CHECK ALL THAT APPLY

Name (your real one, please):

E-mail:

Current age:

Where are you from?:

Where do you currently reside?:

How did you find this page?:

Yahoo/Google

Twitter

Facebook

A friend

You told me, dumbass

Accidentally/not sure

Why are you filling out this form?:

You are way rad and I really want to go out with you

A friend put me up to it

I’m bored

Other:_________________________________________________

Highest level of education completed/currently working towards:

(I need to see if you’re way smarter than me)

high school diploma

high school equivalency (GED)

associates degree

bachelors degree

master’s degree

MBA/JD

Ph.D./MD/DMD

Why do you think you want to go out on a date with me?:

Do I need a reason?

You seem interesting

I think you’d be fun to drink with

I want to end up in one of your blog posts

For some reason I’m attracted to you

I want to find out what “Hard on the outside but sweet on the inside” really means

If you were to become a blog post, what should your name be?:

____________________________________________________

What is it that you find most attractive about me?:

Your sarcastic wit

Your bald-ass head

Your beautiful blue eyes that are as deep as the ocean

You make me laugh

Your sweet, sweet ass

When would you like to go out with me?:

How soon can I get there?

When are you available

A week from Kiss My Ass

Friday

Saturday

How attractive do you think you are?:

Girl next door

I’m cute

Do-able

I’m hot

You wouldn’t kick me out of bed

Not very attractive

My mother loves me

How attractive do others think you are?:

Girl next door

Cute

Hell yeah!

Shit yeah!

Holy crap!

Do-able

Average

depends on light and distance

Not very attractive

My mother loves me

Are you crazy?:

Yes

No

If “Yes”, please explain:______________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

What is the first thing I would notice about you?:

My eyes

My sense of humor

My very large breasts

My average, yet very nice breasts

I have the ass of a 18 year-old girl

My smile

My bubbly personality

My willingness to get what I want by whatever means necessary

What will my reaction be when I first see you?:

Smile

Pick my jaw off the floor

Start high fiving whoever is next to me

Look for the door

Pretend I have no clue who J.R. is

What should I wear?:

Something that screams 80’s preppie

Something that says I live my life like Jeffrey Lebowski

Something that shows I’m laid back California through and through

Something that says I’m me. Like a pair of flip flops my jeans that accentuate my ass & an untucked button down shirt or thermal shirt

Something that shows that not only have I met Snoop but that I am a thug gangstah from the LBC.

Whatever’s clean

What will we do on our first date?:

Go to dinner and a movie (yawn…)

Sex?

Someplace to drink and make fun of others

Hit the strip clubs on the Canadian side of the border

Get ripped and make fun of each other

Find a quiet corner of a bar, drink and “get to know each other”

Visit Disneyland

A combo of the above:________________________________

What will we drink?

beer

Our favorite hard liquors

A 40 of Colt 45

Cheap wine

The Happy Hour special

How much does it take to get you drunk?:

I can get drunk just watching you drink

A few beers

A couple glasses of wine

Three Cosmos

I’m Irish (Or Canadian.  Or Mexican.  Or English)

What can we converse about?:

You

Me

Sex

The sexual shortcomings of ex’s

What that bitch across the room is wearing

Some of the chicks I’ve blogged about

Whatever…

Are we seriously gonna talk?  What a pussy!

I should compliment you by saying:

“You have a gorgeous smile.”

I can’t stop staring at your eyes.”

“I really like your top..”

“You have a great personality…”

Finish this sentence: “I like a man that…

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

After dinner we should?:

Have coffee and dessert

Have a long and meaningful conversation

Go somewhere to be alone

Take a walk in a quiet area perfect for making out

Second base

A real man would decide for himself!

How will our fabulous date end?:

With us making bullshit promises to text each other tomorrow

A weak parking lot hug

A nice kiss (with or without tongue)

Planning our second date

“Watching a movie” on a couch

Never even making it to the couch

In just a few words, please tell me why we should go out. Be as descriptive and graphic as you want to be.  Feel free to send a photo(s) if you like.

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Once received, please allow 2-3 business for your application to be evaluated and a decision to be made.  Unless you’re hot.  That speeds up the process.  A lot.  If you’re hot (and can prove it) expect an e-mail momentarily!