First off, big thanks to Genuine for opening up his personal wallet and throwing a hunski down on the table.  Ben Franklin is always a welcome chaperone on a date and in these economic times his presence is all the more appreciated.  Thanks genuine.  You da man!  Let me know when you need my address to send me the scratch.  A check is cool with me.

Before I start detailing my ultimate date night(s) with The Blogger Hottie, let me say that I believe every truly great date ends with breakfast.  It could be me whipping up a scramble with eggs, ham, jalapenos, tomatoes and cheddar or heading out to a cool local breakfast joint for pancakes and coffee.  In case I forget to mention it at the end, you can go ahead and assume that Date Night will end with breakfast!

Dating The Blogger Hottie comes with its own set of restrictions.  She lives in the Chicago suburbs and I live in the Buffalo suburbs.  In case its been a while since you looked at a map, that means she lives in Illinois and I live in New York–roughly a 10 hour drive or 90 minute plane ride apart.

What this means is that when we do see each other, we make the most of the moment.  It would be awesome to live close by and see each other in person several times a week, but right now thats not reality.  We have our Skype dates and take the face to face as we can.

The wonderful thing about the relationship Jamie and I have is that we’re both pretty simple people.  We can have fun doing a number of different things–from a quiet concert to a Sabres (or Blackhawks) game to kickin it old skool  at the drive in. 

There really is no way for me to describe the “Ultimate Date Night” because that could be many different things depending on the weather, our moods and what is happening in the city at the moment.  Therefore, I will throw you two different scenarios of what  a great date night would be with The Blogger Hottie.  One is set in Buffalo and the other in Chicago.

Buffalo in winter

It’s a cold winter night.  I pull my car into the lot at University of Buffalo’s city campus and we make our way onto the train to take us downtown.  I only live 15 minutes from downtown Buffalo, but on event nights parking can be crazy.  And expensive.  Plus, there’s just something romantic about taking the train. 

We board at the first stop and exit at the last–HSBC Arena, right on the shores of Lake Erie.  The new(ish) home of the Buffalo Sabres of the NHL and Buffalo Bandits of the NLL.  This building flat out rocks when there is a home game, but tonight there is a different vibe emanating from the building.

We exit the train and I take her hand as we walk across the street and into the arena.  The tickets in my pocket say ‘Michael Buble–one night only” and it’s a night I’ve been anticipating since the pre-sale started a few months ago.

I like my music loud and crude, but I also like the soft stuff.  There are several Buble tunes on my iPod.  Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin too.  It’s cool to go retro and in these modern times, Buble is as vintage as it gets.

We grab a cocktail before grabbing our seats and as the lights go down, we look at each other and kiss…

Chicago/Milwaukee in summer

It’s a warm summer night along the shores of Lake Michigan and as my plane touches down at O Hare I think about the great weekend I will have with The Blogger Hottie.  I lived near here in the mid 90′s and the truth is that the Chicago and Milwaukee areas are two of my fav places in the world and given the right chance, I would pack up and move tomorrow.  Or maybe a week from Saturday. 

P.S.  this “date night” actually spills into the next afternoon, but since we have a very rare child free weekend I assume that will be OK.

As I come towads baggage claim I see my Blogger Hottie waiting for me with a smile on her face just as big as the one I have for her.  Being single parents raising daughters on our own, when we get the coveted child free weekend, we make the most of it. 

As we meet, we kiss like a couple of love-sick fools and make people around us wish they brought the barf bags from the plane.  Sorry people.  It was necessary.

We cruise back to her place and spend some quiet time together (this is supposed to be a PG blog post, so I will leave it at that).  As early evening approaches we climb into her Passat and drive north towards Wisconsin.

Almost immediately after crossing the border we arrive at one of my favorite dumps, The Brat Stop.  I have to be honest, as much as I like a good steak or prime rib, there is nothing quite like a couple of brats and some Old Style in Wisconsin.   After dinner we head back to her place to “watch” a movie and make out on the couch like a couple of teenagers. 

The next morning we wake up, I don my Cubs hat and grey jersey and we head towards Wrigleyville.  We make a quick stop for breakfast, then a game at one of my absolute favorite spots in the world–Wrigley field.

The Blogger Hottie was cool enough to score some bleacher seats (is there any other place to sit) for this afternoon’s game against the hated (though WAY better) St. Louis Cardinals.  We grab a couple of cold ones and I begin to heckle anyone wearing red, including left fielder Matt Holiday.

Seriously–with a last name like that, how can you not heckle him.  It’s so easy.  “Hey Matt, looks like you’re taking a Holiday out there.”  “Hey Matt let me know when you get back from vacation and actually want to play.”  Stuff like that.

The wonderful thing about The Blogger Hottie is that she’s not sitting there trying to shush me or rolling her eyes at me.  She’s throwing me ideas on things to say. I totally <3 her for that.

After the Cubs beat the crap out of the Cardinals (it’s my dream date, right?) we head across the street to spend the last of our $100  at the Cubby Bear.   We join with my fellow Cub brethern to celebrate the ass kickin we just laid on the hated ones and prepare for tomorrows battle.  One which I will miss because I will be spending it alone with my sweet honey.

The bottom line is that just spending time with her is all I really need and I know I could be just as happy sitting on the couch with her, watching TV and putting Ben aside for another night.

J.R.

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog post titled Losing My Religion.  In it I talked about my belief in God and the reasons I have for not being a huge church attender. 

I stated that I think God is more about relationship and not as much about the formality of church.  I also said that there is nothing wrong with church as a whole, but at this moment it’s just not how I roll.

I got a couple positive comments about that post from high school friends who are currently pastors and I thought that was really, really cool.  Thanks guys.  It was much appreciated.

I haven’t changed my mind on the whole church thing, but if I was thinking about it, I would have been right back to square one this morning after receiving an e-mail at work.  I am leaving out his name and the town he’s from for obvious reasons, but this e-mail both infuriated me and disgusted me at the same time. 

I could spend an hour ranting on this, but before I get on my Holy Soapbox I will share this e-mail with you word for word:

I am interested in a Sienna van.  I do niot have good credit.  I do not have money down, but I have a broken down ’98 Olds if you want it on trade.  I need a vehicle either donated to me or sold w/ $0 down and bad credit.

I don’t want you to even run my credit.  I am asking you to give me a van or help me buy one basically as a favor considering my position.  I am the pastor of a small country church near XXXXXXX, NY.  Please help me.

Pastor XXXXX XXXXXX

I’ll take a moment and let you pick your jaws off the floor before I continue.

Did this guy seriously just play the God card and ask us to give him a vehicle?  I know what you’re probably thinking–the guy may not even be a pastor and it may be a scam.  I considered that scenario for a moment.  If it was a scam, the guy is an asshole for pretending to be a destitute preacher.

It’s not a scam.  I looked online and found the listing for churches in the snall town. There were three and one was Catholic.  I eliminated that one right away since he said “pastor” and not “priest” or “father”.  That left two.  I called the first one, asked for XXXXX and was told I had the wrong church that he was with the church up the road. 

I called and got the guy on the phone.  I asked him if he sent an e-mail to a dealership asking us to give him a car.  He said he did and that he actually sent it to many dealerships in the area in hopes someone would take pity on him and help him out.

I never told him what dealership I was with but simply told him “God will provide” and to have a nice day. 

Where do I even start with this rant?  Is it with the fact that he sent an e-mail to a place of business asking us to give him something simply because he has no money and horrible credit?  Is it because I immediately thought something was fishy when he said he didn’t want us to look at his credit?  Or was it simply because he went with the “I’m a pastor” and played the “God” card?

Lets go with the last one.  I wonder what the people in his congregation would think if they knew he was sending these e-mails out including the name of the pastor and the town on them?  It wasn’t hard to track him down.  It took me three mnutes on Google to locate him.  My guess is they would be ashamed and embarassed. 

The next thing I have to wonder is if he truly had a need for a vehicle, why didn’t he make it known to his congregation.  I’m sure that someone could come up with an old vehicle for him to drive or that they could take up a small collection so he could come up with a modest down payment on something.

Before you start telling me what a douche I am for ranting about this, let me tell you that I can understand where he’s coming from.  My life hasn’t always been grand.  I’m not blowing sunshine and rainbows out my ass right now.  I’ve struggled a lot and the truth is that I too am having a hard time financially right now. 

I work six days a week and almost 70 hours a week but its straight commission and the car business isn’t so great right now.  In July our dealership sold over 160 cars and as of August 3o we have only 91 delivered.  Add to that the fact that the manafacturer is offering these incredible leases, which means I make jack per car and you can see where I’m at right now.

I don’t see how it could ever get bad enough for me to start e-mailing dealerships begging them to give me a car.  I would never do it in the name of the Lord, not even when I was working as a youth pastor.  (If that last statement surprises you, go back and read THIS blog post).

That e-mail was wrong on so many levels but especially because he tried to use his position as a pastor and tried to use God to play on people’s heartstrings.

I’m not an uncaring prick.  Seriously.  I do hope the guy gets a car, but I hope it comes from someone in the congregation or that it comes the old-fashioned way–with a bit of work and effort and not by begging and trying to use God to make people sympathetic.  The Lord will provide, but God helps those that help themselves.  ya know?

J.R.

Lindsay Lohan

Drama Queen (That Girl)

Yesterday I told the story of my Drama Queen turning 13 and some of what has happened to shape her and mold her into the Queen that she is.  Today’s post is a bit more of that, with less crying and more laughing.

When she was a baby I had a boombox in her room and played some CDs as I would change her or we would play.  Her favorites seemed to be Smash Mouth and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.  I remember changing her diaper as her legs and arms would be rockin to the beat.

I also would throw on some Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, which she seemed to enjoy but not as much as the first two.  When she started talking she would say “Smaf Mouf” when we would go into her room and that was my cue to throw on “I Can’t Get Enough of You Baby” or “AllStar” for us to listen to.  In later years I would throw on “I’m a Believer” from Shrek.  That was some dope shit.

With the great musical start she got I can’t believe that she’s into that whole Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez & Jonas Brothers crap.  I can only hope that one day she sees the light and gets into something musically appealing.  Seriously.

She was a very smart girl from an early age.  I know a lot of parents say that, but I totally mean it.  Want proof?  Just before her fourth birthday I was working on an article for O.C. Family Magazine.  The piece was about family friendly things to do in Las Vegas.  Yeah, it’s still Sin City, but the reality is that there are more cool things for kids and families to do than there used to be.

I packed her up and we made the four-hour drive to Vegas and as we approached the city she started asking all kinds of questions.  “What are we going to do, daddy?”  “Well,” I said.  “We’re gonna see Blue Man Group (she totally loved that) and walk around the shops at the Venetian and see the living statues.  Were gonna go see a pirate show and a volcano and go to Downtown Vegas and see a cool light show.”

“Where are we staying daddy?”

“At the Aladdin.”

“Why?”

“They hooked daddy up with a free room.”

“Do they have a pool?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

We pulled off I-15 and headed up the strip.  We were about a block or so from the Aladdin when she screamed, “There’s the hotel!”

“Where?”  I asked.

“On the right,” she said.

“How do you know?”

Because it says Aladdin.  A-L-A-D-D-I-N.  Aladdin.”

Holy shit.  I need to stop spelling around her.

She started kindergarten and had a great time in school.  Long Beach Unified wins awards almost every year for being one of the top urban school districts in the country and her school was a charter school that was amongst the top two or three elementary schools in the district.  (If you are at all interested in education and what schools can do, please click on the LINK to read an excellent article from the LA Times on the district being one of the top five in the US)  My point?  She had a great education.  The school district she attends in New York is also off the hook, which I am very happy about.

Long Beach mandates uniforms for all kids in public school from K-12, which I totally dug.  Clothes shopping was a breeze and I could pick up all her uniforms for under $100.  White collared shirts and blue or khaki shorts, pants, jumpers or skorts were what they could wear.  Some schools (like hers) also had a certain plaid that they could wear.  It was a quick and painless way to do things.

The first week of third grade she came home and announced that they were doing a free after school music program and she really, really wanted to play the violin.  “Puhleez, daddy???”  She asked.  I said fine and she started playing the violin.  She still plays, though I can’t honestly say she practices at all much.

Moving to Canada in the middle of sixth grade was a big thing for her.  Middle school in California is all about lockers and going from class to class.  It was like big girl school for her and she enjoyed it.  In Canada they have K-Grade 8 (not eighth grade) in one school and they are all single classrooms—like elementary school.  It was like going backwards for her.

She made a couple good friends and unfortunately for both of us, the radio station didn’t go on the air so we had to move back to the U.S.  Going to California wasn’t a viable option.  We would return to family, but no place to live, no job and an outrageous cost of living.  I had a couple friends from Buffalo and (weather aside) it’s a great place to live and the cost of living is half of what it would be in Long Beach.

We moved here two days before school started and she returned to lockers and roaming the hallways, going from class to class.  She’s made a few friends here and I’m happy for that.

The first half of the year she had some problems getting homework turned in.  She was doing it, but for some reason it wasn’t making it from home to bus to school to classroom.  Even though the work was late (and even though many teachers didn’t give credit for late work) I still made her turn in each and every assignment.

Her school counselor was awesome and worked with her on getting the work turned in on time.  She went from 50 or 60% late assignments to none and in June received the award for Most Improved Seventh Grader.  I was very proud of her for that and told her so.  I also told her that she better “keep that shit up and turn in all your stuff on time in eighth grade from day one!!!”

Drama Queen is a very funny girl—even when she doesn’t realize she’s being funny.   There are some ridiculous commercials in Buffalo for a place called Airport Plaza Jewelers.  The commercials feature multiple losers in chicken suits screaming, “I buy it!!!”

We live about a mile straight up the street from this joint and one day were driving to the Galleria and Target when we passed the store and one of the losers was on the sidewalk in the chicken suit.  As we drove by, D.Q. said, “That is so annoying.  Someone should egg the chicken.”  I started laughing but she had no reaction.  After a moment I stopped laughing and as we pulled into Target (five minutes later) she said, “Hey!  I get why you were laughing.  Chicken.  Egging.  That’s funny!”  Wow…

Today we finished our birthday day from hell (five hours shopping at the Galleria including a full 90 minutes in Forever 21 where she emerged with only a scarf and a $2 candle) ended at Anderson’s Custard for some milkshakes and as we were climbing into the car she (totally out of the blue) asked why blind people don’t use sign language.  I was truly speechless and I just stared at her for a moment—unsure how to respond—and after about a minute she said, “Oh. I know why…”  Yeah.  That’s my Drama Queen!

J.R.

Smash Mouth–I Can’t Get Enough of You Baby.  One of Draa Queen’s favorites as a young child.  Back when she had musical taste.

Lindsay Lohan

Drama Queen (That Girl)

13 years ago today my Drama Queen made a dramatic entrance into the world.  She came out at 9 pounds 12 ounces & 21 ½ inches and broke her mom’s tailbone on the way out.  What was so dramatic about it?  Aside from the broken tailbone was the fact that she was a girl.

Two ultrasounds told Baby Mama and I that we were having a boy and his name was to be Nicholas Doc Reed.  When she was born we were kind of stuck trying to quickly come up with a girls name.  I really liked Nicholas, so we decided to make her middle name Nicole.  Not really the same, but similar enough.

How did we come up with the middle name Doc?  My grandfather’s name was Cecil but all anyone ever called him was Doc.  I never figured out why they called him Doc, considering he raised cattle, grew hay and feed corn in southwest Nebraska.  But they did.

He died of colon cancer when I was 15 and this was my way of remembering him.  For the record, my dad died of colon cancer when Drama Queen was five—but we will discuss that in greater detail later on.

Her mom was in the Navy and Drama Queen (D.Q.) was born in Northern California near Oakland, San Fran and Berkeley.   After a four week maternity leave, mom went back to her ship to work.  Over the next four months her ship was in and out of port for a couple of weeks at a time.

When D.Q. was about seven months old, the ship re-ported to Bremerton, Washington and we decided that the baby and I would remain in California since Baby Mama’s enlistment was up a couple weeks before the first birthday and we were going to remain in No. Cal after she was out.

Raising a baby by myself was a bit tough. But I got through it pretty well.  Mama got out of the Navy and things were up and down for the next few years.  D.Q. was four when we had our 10^th anniversary and that was a day that really changed my life in a big way.

We had already moved back to Long Beach, CA and my parents have a house near Lake Arrowhead in the mountains.  We left D.Q. with my parents for a couple nights and headed up to celebrate a quiet anniversary.

The morning of the 10^th anniversary I was cooking breakfast when I heard a scream.  My wife had taken a knife and cut up and down on both arms and was crying.  That was it.  I informed her we were packing up and I was taking her to the VA hospital for a psych evaluation and we were going to get this figured out.  On the way home I called my mom to tell her what was going on and that I would be picking up my daughter later.

My mom was quite relieved to hear that because she was with my dad at the ER of the local hospital because of stomach problems.  The long and short of it is that after staying inpatient at the VA hospital four days my wife was diagnosed as bipolar.  The day I took her to the VA I drove to the hospital to get DQ and to see what was up with my dad.

That same day, December 28, he was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and passed away in October after a very hard fight.  It was hard on my mom, brother and I but it was also tough for D.Q.

Here was a four-year-old girl trying to understand why her “papa” couldn’t take her to the park and do things with her like he used to.  Shortly before he died, a family friend brought him a stuffed animal that looked identical to Snowball, the eight-pound cockapoo we had when I was growing up.  D.Q. thought Snowball was very cool and wanted it, but we told her it belonged to Papa and it needed to stay with him at the care home he was in.

I got a call one morning about 4 AM to tell me my dad had passed away and I have to admit that telling D.Q. her papa died is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  I was completely in tears as I did so and we gave her Snowball to remember him, with the stipulation that Snowball was to NEVER leave the house.

We didn’t want the dog to ever get lost.  The only two times Snowball has left the house are when we moved from Long Beach to Toronto and Toronto to Buffalo.  Those two times she carried the dog with her.  Other than that, Snowball has always been at home.  To this day D.Q. occasionally sleeps with Snowball and I think she is remembering the good times she had with her papa.

I could tell you stories and stories about her growing up, but that would make a very, very long blog post and you would lose interest way before it was done.  Let me just tell you one quick, funny one.   She was in the GATE class from second grade until we moved to Toronto in sixth grade and on the first day of second grade with a (totally hot) new teacher she popped off with a classic line.  The teacher said, “D.Q. can you please take your seat?” My little angel looked up from the book she was reading and replied, “That’s OK.  I’m good.”  Nice.

She’s been through a lot in her short life, but still has a very positive outlook.  For a while she had monitored visitation with her mom, but it rarely occurred.  At one point she went four years with no contact of any kind from her mom.

On Mothers Day of this year she talked to her mom for the first time in 19 month and last month she saw her mom for the first time since December 2008.  She lived in the same house from age 3-11 and went from K-5 in the same elementary school and went to middle school with her friends.  Halfway through sixth grade she moved to Toronto, then moved to Buffalo two days before seventh grade started.  She’s kept a very amazing view of life and that completely blows me away.

That girl was a wild child dreamer but she found herself
‘Cause she believes in nothin’ else
And you’ll look back and you won’t believe
That girl was me

The bottom line is this:  The teenage years are gonna be tough on her.  And on me.  All I really want is for her to be happy and do well in school.  That and not get arrested or have the principal have my cell phone number memorized.

I make comments about how she drives me into a relationship with Jack Daniels, but the truth is that I would not trade the constantly chattering, forgetful, occasionally obnoxious, candy thieving, violin practice putter-offer that I have for anyone else.  I hope know you’re not going to read this, but Happy Birthday baby.  I love you.

J.R.

Yes, there were long stretches as I was writing this that I did cry.  Deal with it!  Please take a moment to watch the video.  When she was younger she loved this move and for some reason when I watched it just now it made me cry again.  Yes, that really is Lindsay Lohan in her pre coke whore/skank days.  Enjoy…

Hey We’re Looking 2 turn the Tables! – w4m – 3334 (erie pa)

PostingID: 1919202946 

Uh….No thanks!

Childrens Party Hostess (WNY Area)

PostingID: 1919038934

Is it just me or does this one scream “pedophiles please apply?”

Like Opening Football Boxes..But Only Want The Bills? – $37 (IA)

1) 2009 Upper Deck Heroes Football Hobby Box – Look to pull (2) ON-CARD autographed cards in every box (on average), plus look for two foil numbered memorabilia cards in every box.

1) 2009 Upper Deck Ultimate collection Football Hobby Box – Look to pull (1) Game-Used Memorabilia or Autographed card per box (on average)! Every Jersey cards has at least (6) swatches, is oversized, or autographed!

1) 2009 Upper Deck Draft Edition Football Hobby Box – Five autographed cards per box on average! Look for key rookies and a ton of inserts!

1) 2009 Upper Deck Philadelphia Football 24-Pack Box – Find (1) Game-Used Memorabilia Card per box on average! Also a ton fo rookies and inserts!

1) 2009 Upper Deck SP Football 24-Pack Box – Find (1) Autograph Card per box!! Also a ton of rookies and autos!

4) 2009 Upper Deck SP Signature Edition Football 10-Pack Box – Look for (1) Autographed or Game-Used Memorabilia Card per box on average!!

1) 2009 Upper Deck SP Authentic Football Hobby Box – Look to pull (3) Game-Used Memorabilia or Autographed cards per box (on average)!

1) 2008 Upper Deck Draft Edition Retail – Look to pull 1 rookie autograph and a ton of rookies. also look for random serial # cards.

1) 2008 Upper Deck 1st Edition Football 36-Pack Box Get one foil Starquest insert card in EVERY pack! TONS of rookies!

1)2006 Topps Football Hobby Box – Look for at least TWO rookie cards per pack!!! Find (3) Special Edition Rookie Cards and (4) Parallel Cards per box on average!! Look for randomly inserted Autographs and Relic Cards!!

How it will work is you will pick 1 team and purchase that 1 team. You will than be givin 1 random team once ALL 16 spots have been filled. How this will work is

This break will be done live on blogtv.com so everyone is able to watch me open the product. The cards will be on camera the whole time. I will send a mass email to everyone who is interested in taking part of the break to give them the details of when the boxes are ordered, when they arrive and the time we will be breaking these.

Everyone will be asked if they want thier base. If you do that is great and if you do not that is ok too.

Shipping is included in the price of the break. This includes bubble mailer, supplies, top loaders, penny sleeves and the shipping itself.

If we pull a card that features more than 1 team on that card we will go to random.com and put in all the teams on the card. We will than push random 3 times and whoever is on top at the end of the 3 will be awarded the card.

If we pull a card that the player is featured in a college uniform we will give the card to whoever is listed on the card or whoever that player played for first.

If we pull a card that the player is in one uniform but the card says a diffrent team the card will be givin to who is listed on the card. For example Brandon Marshall is now a Dolphin so if we pulled a card of him in a Broncos uniform and it states Dolphins on the card. It will go to the Dolphins.

I ask that you pay in the form of Pay-Pal. This way you and I are both safe.

This is going to be a lot of fun and there is only 14 spots left already! Once we got all 16 teams filled we are going to get the boxes ordered.

• Location: IA
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1919275118

This one just screams “loser!”  And “we put way too much thought into this.”  And “big fuckin loser!!!” 

I remember the late 70′s and early-to-mid 80′s.   I felt like a dork throughout junior high (that’s what we called it back then) and high school, but all in all it was an OK time in my life.

Drama Queen received a letter from her middle school on Friday with her school schedule and on Saturday came a list of all the supplies she would need.  I looked at the list Saturday night when I got home and OMG was it long.  And specific.  Really specific.

Sunday night after work we piled in the Dodge and cruised over to Walmart to begin the shopping.  As we drove I had my iPod on and it happened to be playing some 80′s songs.  Rock Lobster came on (one of my all time fav’s) and she commented that it was “lame”.

I told her she “didn’t know shit about music” and encouraged her to shut up and keep listening.  After the B-52s was Yaz, then The Smiths followed by The Cure.

As we got out of the car she told me the songs we just listened to were “stupid”.  I reminded her that she thought good music was Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers which proved that she wouldn’t know good music if it slapped her in the face.

She grabbed the list from the car and we headed into Walmart to (hopefully) get everything in one shot.  Would we be so lucky?  I’m not telling you now. you have to read on to find out.

We quickly found a few of the items we needed, but as I mentioned before, the list was very specific.  How specific?  Read for yourself:

SOCIAL STUDIES:           

1 ½ -2 INCH BINDER (RED)

3 PACKAGES OF 5 DIVIDERS (15 TOTAL)

INDEX CARDS

COLORING SUPPLIES

ONE BLUE HIGHLIGHTER

ONE YELLOW HIGHLIGHTER

1 PACK LOOSE LEAF PAPER

ENGLISH

 1 ½ INCH BINDER (WHITE)

5 DIVIDERS

PENCILS

PENS

MATH

 1 ½ INCH BINDER (BLUE)

5 DIVIDERS

SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR*

1 PACK LOOSE LEAF PAPER

2 BLUE SPIRAL NOTEBOOKS

SCIENCE

 COLORED PENCILS

MARKERS

SCISSORS

GLUE

4 INCH GREEN BINDER

QUARTER INCH GRAPH PAPER

ART

PENCILS

ERASERS

HOME AND CAREERS

2 POCKET ORANGE FOLDER

TECHNOLOGY

PENCILS

PENS

2 POCKET ORANGE FOLDER WITH TWO POCKETS

(I SWEAR TO GOD THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS)

SPANISH

1 ½ INCH BINDER

15 DIVIDERS

200 3X5 INDEX CARDS

PENS

PENCILS

ORCHESTRA

ELECTRONIC TUNER

ROSIN

SHOULDER REST

NAMETAG FOR INSTURMENT CASE

PENCILS

VIOLIN

PE

SHOES

SOCKS

SHORTS

T SHIRT

PENCILS

BATHING SUIT (HER MIDDLE SCHOOL HAS A POOL) 

Whatever happened to the good old days when we bought a Trapper Keeper, some Pee Chee folders, paper, pencils, erasers and headed off to school?  Shit was way easier back then and our teachers didn’t take crap from anyone.

Back then no one knew what CPS was.  CPS was only called out if you left your kids at home alone while you went to Vegas for the weekend.  Today kids have CPS on speed dial on their iPhone4G.

The Blogger Hottie was telling me that it’s $100 to register her daughter for public school and that the fees go up every grade.   This is public school we’re talking about people.  PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!  What happens when a parent can’t pay the $100?  Do they kick the kid out of school?

If this is what 8th grade is like I can’t wait to see what horrors await me when she goes to high school…

It was a little more than a month ago that I dropped my mom and Drama Queen (D.Q.) off at Buffalo Niagara International Airport for a flight to California.  My mom had never been to Buffalo and she flew out to take D.Q. back to California for a month of visiting old friends, a new cousin and generally having a good time.  She also saw her mom for the first time in 19 months, but that’s a whole different blog post for another day.  Maybe.

D.Q. had big plans with her friends and I had some big plans of my own.  I knew I would miss her.  A lot.  But I also knew I needed the break.

My plans included hanging out with friends I haven’t spent time with in a while, going out, having fun and working on the book I started a couple years ago but am nowhere close to finishing.

The funny thing about plans is that they can change.  Dramatically. By “change” I mean, “none of that shit ever happened”.  Except for two visits from The Blogger Hottie and going out one night for an hour or so with another friend, I did jack shit.

The reality is, I worked my ass off and many nights I was so exhausted when I came home from my 12-14 hour days that I simply went to bed, woke up, and went to work again.  Sigh.

Drama Queen’s trip was filled with four-hour swimming sessions with her friends, a trip to the mountains with her cousin, shopping with her friends, seeing her mom and trips to the beach.  Her shit was WAY more fun than mine.  There are definite advantages to being 12.

Fast forward to Thursday of this week when we were to meet up once again.  Friday is my normal one day off a week and I had to do some wrangling to get a half-day off Thursday as well.

There are no non-stop flights between L.A. and Buffalo and I wasn’t going to spend the money to fly all the way out to California, only to get my ass right back on a plane and come home.  I decided to meet her in Chicago.

Southwest flies non-stop into Midway from both L.A. and Buffalo and I could take a flight and arrive two hours before she did. My mom got D.Q. on her flight and I caught mine.  D.Q.’s flight was early but I still had 90 minutes to kill and what better place for a Cubs fan to kill time than at Harry Carry’s at Midway?

I asked if they had Old Style and was told they didn’t.  I was bummed that I couldn’t have my favorite Chicago beer right away, but that was cool.  I ordered a Budweiser, because as every good Cubs fan knows, Harry was “a Bud man and a Cubs fan.”  God bless you Harry.  May you rest in peace and shit.

I was waiting at the gate when D.Q.’s flight arrived and when she exited the plane I went to give her a big hug and instead I was greeted with a “what’s up?”  She will turn 13 in a week and apparently was too cool to give daddy a big hug in the airport.  That was OK.  We made our way down to baggage claim, collected her suitcases, grabbed a cab and headed towards Union Station to take the train to The Blogger Hottie.

The day before the trip I was Tweetin and I received one from my Tweep @thedaver.  Dave is married to Aunt Becky who writes the completely rad blog, Mommy Wants Vodka.  It turns out that The Daver works downtown, a few blocks from Union Station and he went out of his way to cruise over for a few minutes to say hi in person and meet us.  That was way cool of him and it started the trip off on a very cool note.

We rapped with Dave for a few and hopped our train northbound to The Blogger Hottie and her 5-year-old, M.  We exited the train and introductions were quickly made.  Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, so it was a promising start.

The Hottie steered her VW towards our destination, one of the city’s landmark joints for some amazing Chicago style pizza.  It was D.Q.’s first time in the Windy City and I would be a horrible father if I didn’t indulge her in the buttery, cheesy treat that is Gino’s East.  Seriously.

We enjoyed our pizza then headed to Dominick’s market to get some ice cream for the girls along with muffins and juice for breakfast.  For a few years I had been craving Old Style, a local beer brewed in Milwaukee that I thoroughly enjoyed even though it’s widely considered to be “shitty” beer.  It’s kind of like when I go to a bar and see Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap.  You can’t go somewhere with PBR and not have it, right?

I grabbed six tallboys from the cooler—one to drink that night and five to take home with me.  It was my little stash of goodness to bring back from Chicago and I think I’m going to have to make it a tradition every time I fly to Chicago.

We cruised back to the Hottie’s crib and chilled for a bit before I did my podcast with Wes the Sports Guy.  It was a good show and I honestly miss being in the studio with him but I’m confident we’ll get there again someday.

The next morning we all got up, dressed and loaded the car for a day in Chicago followed by a trip to O Hare to drop off D.Q. and I for our flight back to The B-lo.  The Blogger Hottie suggested one of my favorite joints, The Cubby Bear at the corner of Addison and Clark, directly across the street from Cub Mecca—Wrigley Field.

We got about a mile from her place when suddenly I asked the dumbest (yet most basic) question.  “Baby.  Do the Cubs have a day game today?”  Now pay attention because here’s where the story gets good…

She wasn’t sure, and since she was driving I decided to look on my CrackBerry.  My phone, having the shittiest Internet connection on the planet, wasn’t allowing me to see, so I did the next best thing.  I Tweeted to all my Tweeps and asked if the Cubs had a home game.

@JohnCaveOsborne tweeted back that they did, so we started coming up with Plan B.  Parking in Wrigleyville is straight up crazy and no way in hell were we gonna pay the $30-40 to park near the Cubby Bear, so we decided on Ed Debevic’s on Wells.

What makes that story so funny?  It’s funny when you realize that I had a copy of that day’s Chicago Sun Times sitting on the seat next to me.  Even funnier when just now (9:04 PM EST Saturday night) is when I realized I had the damn paper with me.  Un-freakin-believable!!!

On the way to Wrigleyville The Hottie made a comment about traffic being a pain in the ass and for the next few hours we were treated to her five year old daughter saying “pain in da ass” in the adorable way that only a five-year old can.  We were all laughing our butts off in the car, which of course made it continue longer.

If you’ve never been to Ed Debevics you need to understand that it’s a diner where the staff is supposed to be rude to you.  Our waiter slammed down a pitcher of water on the table, threw four straws in the middle of the table along with some paper cups and muttered something about being back later.

The Hottie (for whatever reason) looked at Drama Queen and told her that she would pay $5 if she called the waiter a bitch.  He came back a few minutes later to see if we wanted drinks and D.Q. said, “Yeah.  I want an Oreo milkshake, bitch”.  Swear to God she did it.  The waiter was floored and once Hottie pulled a $5 out of her purse and handed it across the table, I had to explain to the waiter what was happening.  He looked at D.Q. and with a very sincere look on his face said, “Much respect.”  D.Q. turns 13 in a week and we told the waiter we were celebrating her birthday and he brought out a complimentary “Worlds Smallest Sundae” for her.  She didn’t want it, so gave it to me.  Sweet.

We finished our meal without much else happening and headed to the Shedd Aquarium.  It’s really an amazing place but we had the misfortune of buying tickets to their dolphin and beluga whale show, Fantasea.  Suffice it to say that the fantasy is that it was a good show.  It was seriously the lamest thing I’ve seen in quite a while and the highlight for me was at the very end when a trainer was holding a penguin and it took a huge white crap all over the place.

After the show we made our way back to the car and through the city to O Hare for our flight home.  It was sad that we only had such a short stay and that we couldn’t see a lot of the other bloggers and Tweeps that I’ve come to consider friends.  So to, @whyIsDaddyCryin, @NuckingFutsMama, @MommyWantsVodka, @MelisaLW, @WeaselMomma, @Momomatics, @TheDaver (@tessasdad who will be making the roadie from Lansing, Michigan) and anyone else I may have missed I give you my word that we will be back in the next month or two for a longer stay and we will absolutely all plan a time to get together.

Our plane touched down in Buffalo around midnight and I called my Kanye loving 64-year-old next door neighbor who was supposed to pick us up.  She answered the phone and said she would be there in five minutes.  When she and her friend Edwin arrived they asked me to drive.  Apparently they had been at Garden Park Café for karaoke night and were a bit tipsy.  You may remember Garden Park Cafe from a previous blog post. It’s the same place where Phone Sex Operator peed in the parking lot on a snowy New Years Eve.

J.R.

BJ – m4w – 29 (cheektowaga)

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WTF do the Bills have to do with getting blown?  Oh yeah.  he was drinking.  Duh…

Gerber Baby Cereal (Buffalo)

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Seriously?  I don’t think I want baby food off Craigslist

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“Interacting with reborn dolls”?  What the hell does that even mean???